Sunday, January 31, 2016

Blur

          Still asking who I am. Someone who type this abc and have no idea what she going to write. Make a list for everything with details and have no idea where and when to begin. Am I a thick paper, thin paper, a cup with half of water, a jar with full of sugar or a bowl with a cover and no one knows whats inside, or maybe I am just a piece of imperfect yin and yang. And currently I just take a new risk, walking in the bridge with blury future. Don't know what's in front of me, don't know when it's all gone, just cross my finger and hope for the best.

          And now I still on the bridge, I don't know am I in the half way to get there or I almost there but still see nothing, neither light nor shadow. The clock is ticking, I can hear that in this deep silent. Every tick push me to pick and whenever my eyes blink, make me stop thinking for a millisecond what is there.

          I keep walking with my bare feet. Feel the cold deep stab through my skin. Try to fight the fear that stab me in my mind by stay together with my soul mind. Try to split without break anything, but still, crack is the thing.

          Coming to a new life make me think to say goodbye for some good things. Have a last dance with good moments, last snap to hangout with friends, last brunch with fellas. No matter how awkward I feel, it's my duty call to color their day. Because if it's not, I will always regret it.

          After those abc thoughts that I didn't tell you the real details, I just realize on a thing. A simple thing about goodbyes. There are so many of them are good things and why didn't I say goodbye on a bad things? I could just say goodbye to all the times I felt lost, to all the times it was a no instead of a yes, to all bruises and scrapes, to all the heartache. Say goodbye to everything that I really want to do for the last time. And never go for the last dance with good times, I will make it as the first dance with the good times in my new life. Because the good thing always waiting for us and help spread everything with spices of love.

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